Now with more junk! (and cursing)
14 Jul
So Saturday I found myself at someone’s house with a large group of people, hanging out, drinking (well they were, I had two beers total; over an hour apart and earlier in the evening). The conversation was nice, the company was awesome and it was just a nice, enjoyable evening. It wasn’t until Sunday when I realized what I had done. I had gone to the house of someone whom I barely knew, to hang out with people whom I’ve only known, at most, a month. Most of the people, however were very very new people, like weeks old acquaintances. Not only did I go to this gathering, but I was looking forward to it, and I enjoyed myself and felt very comfortable there. I even followed someone there that I had only met three times–ever. A year ago, this would have been unheard of.
A year ago I would have been anxious and found every excuse to back out and not go. I would have had a panic attack the day before and then finally decided not to go the day of. I probably wouldn’t have even accepted the invitation to begin with, really. Meeting new people would have been really hard for me. Then meeting a group of people via a new friend of my own would have been *very* hard, I wouldn’t have felt that I fit in in any way and I would have just disappeared. Now, however, I’m a different person. I am confident, and I am friendly, and I enjoy others’ company. I was invited somewhere by someone I don’t know all that well, and I went…I went and I enjoyed myself and met other new people and was social…a social creature–me.
I’ll be….
6 Jul
As a kid I remember just wanting to be able to do whatever the hell I want and not having to answer to anyone or anything. Just being able to go where the whim takes me…live in the moment. I’ve always had someone else to answer to; my mother, a husband, children, etc… Since my big (forced) life change I am slowly beginning to understand how it works to be your only person and do things that you want, the moment you want them. Sometimes, things don’t have to be planned. Sometimes someone can say “Midnight bike ride–my place.” and you can say “Ok, lemme go to REI to get lights and a helmet, and I’ll see you at midnight.” And you haul ass up to the closest REI and you grab a helmet, some lights and ehh an extra pair of bike shorts ’cause one can never really have enough of those. Then you get home and decide you need gas and coffee before your midnight bike ride. So, you head to QT and Starbucks. And you hang out with people and chat at the Starbucks as they all say “Damn, you’re hot…did you just work out?” and you get to say “Nope…going on a midnight bike ride…”
And on the way to that bike ride…when you’re on the interstate at 2345 and you’re thinking “What the hell am I doing? I have no business being out this late.” You realize that you’re an adult, you’re capable of making your own decisions and choices and if one of those choices is to go for a bike ride at midnight around the saccharin sweet town that is Dunwoody, GA…then you can do that. Cause you’re able to.
It just means that the next day, once you get back home at a quarter after three in the morning, you’re gonna have a lot of homework that has to get done, ’cause you didn’t start on that final yet….
But that’s ok, I rode my bike around town, Which included riding up and down a parking deck at midnight-thirty (*awesome*) and then was forced to play Guitar Hero, which might have been a bit of fun, but I’m not gonna tell…..
And I got to play with a puppy who is probably the sweetest, cutest puppy EVAH!!!! Aside from my puppies, but I’m biased towards them so we’ll take them out of the equation….
Sometimes the Universe just hands you a nice night and tells you..”Enjoy, my friend…enjoy.” And you do.
4 Jul
Well, I didn’t have to wake up first thing this morning and run off to math like i normally do. Instead I stayed in bed and txt’d a bit then dosed off and on until 1030 or so. Finally I decided I needed coffee and I had a headache (wth?) so I took some motrin and opened my interwebz and just proceeded to fuck around the www. I also made some breakfast (fresh fruit, bagel, and coffee).
I’ve found a new radio station; Fresh Air from Edinburgh University in the UK…it’s awesome…when you can go from Elvis to Eminem you’ve got something there….mmmm music.
I have to work today, ’cause someone thinks that July 4th is a good day to rent/buy pr0n and the like. I think it’s going to be a rather slack ass, slow day. But maybe not, maybe all the degenerates and rejects will come and hang out with us and I can have the scent of freshly smoke crack imbibed into my nostrils for the next 48 hours…oh it would be so lovely; a gift from the gods of hell. I am working with the other alternative chick, we haven’t worked together yet, so it’s sure to be an interesting day…ahhh life of the pr0n store clerk.
I’m off of work all next week because of finals. Let’s talk about finals and what all I still have left to do:
***Math final is July 29th…with a two-part test the week before…so I’m still not fully done after this week***
That’s all I have so far. If anything else is added I may just go insane and complete my breakdown. I’ll be at the coffeeshop pretty much every afternoon after Class this coming week. The GUI project has me in fits ’cause I want it perfect and thoughtful and I’m not going to get it that way…I have to remember that I just need to turn something in. Something that is user-centered. I believe I have something that is user-centered….I just need to get it out of my head and into GUI-form. I have to admit, this is some beautiful, beautiful stuff…this software engineering/development stuff..I’m digging it, hardcore, yo. I can’t wait for my programming classes and then my SWE classes….oh the world will be mine, all mine!
30 Jun
I believe I had one of the better weekends that I’ve had in a while. I got to head into Atlanta, via MARTA (it’s smarta!–goddammit, stupid viral advertising in the early 90’s…), and take some urban photographs…I really like urban photography but I get so overwhelmed with it all that I don’t know what to shoot…I really need to do more urban stuff ’cause when I don’t have a camera with me I see all sorts of interesting shots…give me a camera and I’m all “BWAH!! SO.MUCH.TO.SHOOT!” Maybe I should focus on nature in urban settings…I’m really good at the nature/still life stuff…I dunno, I’m half-asleep and have a clay mask drying on my face; I just got off of work….mmm randomness from yours truly!
I have finals this week and next, well more like next week but this week will be busy as hell as well since a chick that works at the shop is also going to school and she has finals this week…so I picked up an extra day, on my busiest school day, this week. *sigh* It’s all good though, if I can just pay rent I’m happy…roof_over_head==good.
Well, I’d love to throw some life stuff in here, maybe some junk, stuff or things, but I have to get ready for class. I started this post last night, got distracted, then remembered this morning. This is my life. It’s busy as a mofo, but I kinda like it.
21 Jun
1. You can’t date/hit on your pr0n shop girl, seriously she peddles pr0n to you…she knows what you’re into and it’s just not cool.
2. No, we don’t know what is *good*, this is pr0n, folks…to each his own. This means that if you like Fuck Me in The Pooper, then go for it…but some folks just ain’t into it…you gotta go with what you like and/or find appealing.
3. Don’t try and pick up the other gay dude in the store. Just because you’re both in the gay section doesn’t mean he wants to sleep with you…you’re kinda sickly looking and need a bath.
4. The prices of movies are ON the movies, no they aren’t in sections according to price. This is why there are header cards all over the place that say things like “Straight” and “Black” and “Fetish” we’re telling you the genre here…not the prices.
5. No, I don’t know that girl in that movie about that dude who was going to repair her cable box, but “ho! ho! did he repair something else!”.
6. If you want artsy pr0n, talk to the girl with blue, spiky hair, she can hook you up….we do have it, it does exist.
7. Just because your pr0n shop has a smoke shop in the back does *not* mean that we want you to come in drunk and/or high and chat at us about things. We’re not here to hang out with you. We are all way too fucking cool for you, move along to your back alley buddies…they’ve got the good shit anyway.
8. Yes, we find the titles of the movies painfully hilarious too, we’re just over them being that damn funny…..
9. No, I don’t know how the ‘Male Enhancement’ stimulants work, nor do I know their side effects….I’m not a doctor, I’m a broke-ass college student who needs to make rent so she peddles pr0n…that’s all I got.
10. This is not The Vagrant Rest Area. wtf, dude? Just What.The.Fuck. Just because we’re progressive enough to sell what we sell doesn’t mean that we’re going to give every dirty, intoxicated, down-on-his-luck vagrant in the county a fucking job or some spare change. Seriously, most of the employees make very, very little…I need to work full time just to make enough for one month’s rent (and that would take a month)….so yeah…
Number of folks that smelled like booze tonight: 4
Number of folks that smelled like Not-So-Tabacco: 6
Number of folks that smelled like some other shit you smoke: 3
Good Night.
17 Jun
So, I’m in Big People School (BPS) now and I was all nervous. I mean online classes are challenging and they’re a LOT of work, but seriously folks, your tests are all open book, you go to school whenever, you can refer to your lectures while completeing coursework…it’s just an easier way to school, ok. There, I said it….I believe online classes are easier than on-campus, in some ways, in other ways they’re more difficult (I don’t miss that participation bullshit, that’s for certain), so they each have their pros and cons. However, I was pretty nervous that when I got to BPS that I would either just become a mediocre student and slip by virtually unnoticed, or possibly fail in the most fabulous fashion ever…or maybe, just maybe, I might do well, but let’s keep those other two options above that ‘doing well’ one, mmkay?
I got my UCD (User-Centered Design) mid-term back yesterday. The entire test was discussion questions and we just had to write and remember everything from all the lectures. We did get a cheat sheet, but I referred to mine once, just to verify a list of characteristics. My final score, after asking the teacher about a couple points that I was marked off for and I wasn’t sure why: 200/200. Yes, I made a perfect score on a mid-term. Perfect. Others in the class made 170’s and 180’s…I seriously thought it was the easiest test I had ever taken….maybe it’s because I like that class and can relate to it because I’m an advocate for users….who knows…maybe I’m just smart after all. And yes, I questioned -2 points..I had a 198, but I didn’t know why it was only a 198….I am that girl.
In other news, I decided to run some stairs this afternoon. I’m really kinda Autistic when it comes to repetition. I like repetition and I like structure and organization and habits. I am the ultimate creature of habit, I know it shall be my downfall one day in some way, but for the moment, I don’t care. So, I went to where there are three (well, technically four) sets of stairs for which I could choose to run. I started with the ones I originally thought I wanted, but they weren’t challenging enough, so I went to another set and ran those for a while, then went back to the originals (smaller steps, steeper incline, but less steps) and after a while there I went to other two sets that are side-by-side, and step and curvy, and ran those for about 35-40 minutes. I just ran up and down, over and over. It was so damn nice. I really wanted to keep running but I was beginning to feel my limbs over-heating, and my legs started to get jelly-like, and I almost tripped up the stairs going to the math building for water…so I decided rather than face plant into the stairs during class change (people all over the place), I should just walk/run home. A dude smiled and made eye contact with me as I was going home…that was nice. I am not a cute, sweaty girl…I am a “Holy mother of god you need a shower” girl when I work out…I just kinda do it hard, so I don’t care if I’m cute and sweaty or not..I just wanna work out. I almost want to go back later on tonight and do it again…which I just might around 8 or so. It’s the one thing I do for myself, by myself. I realized while running that all I need to remain happy and content is to make sure I do things for myself.
Starbucks called–no, I’m not a barista…she transferred someone in, so she didn’t hire anyone. But she did keep telling me how she *really* liked me and would pass my application on to other store managers. I told her to please do because I thought about it over the weekend and I’d like to work for starbucks. I really would…hair coloring be damned, I want free coffee and tips and interesting clientle, and a faster-paced work environment. The slow, quiet, check movies in, check movies out, of the pr0n shop just ain’t doin’ it for me….although I can do math at work…so that’s a plus.
Speaking of math–I should work on this sample test…..I’d rather run.
12 Jun
I have been busy. I don’t mean “Golly, gee Stanley, I seem to be preoccupied a bit lately.” I mean “holy mother of all that is good and just can a bitch get a mother fucking NAP or a goddamn break please?” I worked 4 days straight, about 7 hours each. Which to those of you with *real* jobs is nothing, but to me, the girl who just started working all of the sudden after a decade of not working outside the home, that much…yeah, it was a shock.
Another problem that I seem to have is that working at a pr0n shop has its downfalls. #1 being that I work with a bunch of 20-somethings that don’t know their asses from a hole in the ground. #2 being that I work with a bunch of 20-somethings who don’t know their asses from a hole in the ground and the clientele is running a close second. I am a smart girl. I am a girl who needs mental stimulation every day. College Algebra and some User-Centered Design will not cut it. A couple days of my Ethics class helps, but it’s not the same. I need intensive, extensive mental stimulation–intellectual intercourse, gimme some of that. I see enough tits and asses and cocks during the week; someone talk to me about a goddamn book, or philosophical theory, or some psychology, some computer science, anything….anything at all….
Starbucks called me in for an interview–I went. Not sure if I’ll get it, I have to dye the hair all black and can’t have ‘unnatural’ colors….at least not right off the bat. I was informed that if I wanted to go back to blue or purple later on I could; Starbucks doesn’t really fire anyone. But this was off-the-record by a few SB employees and former employees. Who knows…I’ll know on Monday if I get the job or not. The benefits are sweet–free pound of coffee a week, tips, medical insurance, free lattes….dude, that’s worth a bottle of hair dye….and the customers are a bit classier than huffers and pr0n addicts. Yeah, I didn’t mention the diversity of our products did I? Oil burners, waterpipes, and VCR Head cleaners to name a few….you should google all of that and see what you find.
Intellectual intercourse–any takers?
7 Jun
I finally got a job. Today was my second day. I am a seller of pr0n. Yes, I work in a pr0n shop. I sell toys and videos for a living….there’s a smoke shop in the back of the store. So, I sell some of that too. I like to tell people where I work, the reactions are great. Especially when people say “How did you get that job? I wanna work at a pr0n store!”
The stories I will have to tell will be awesome. Well, ok probably not. It’s mainly married dudes renting videos, couples just looking around, and old divorced men who are just really nice. There was that drunk this afternoon as I was clocking out though….
24 May
(Ok, so possibly not idiots, but annoying fucks, at least.)
I go to a Polytechnic University. Meaning it’s mainly dudes here. There are some chicks, but most of them are transient students (getting degrees at another school, taking classes here). So, in knowing this little fact of the ratio of men to women here, I’m going to assume (which I shouldn’t I know) that my neighbors are all probably guys. That being said I’m concerned with up-dude, and down-dude has now just thoroughly pissed me off, so much so that I’m blogging at 5:50am.
Up-dude is clumsy, or stoned most of the time, I’m not sure which, but I’ll give the guy the benefit of the doubt and say he’s clumsy. It’s an old building, the one we live in…constructed in the early 90’s and built as off-campus apartments by a private company. It’s creaky. Which means when up-dude is wandering around his room I hear the floor creak ever so slightly. Then a few second later you’ll hear a thudda-thud-thudthud…I swear he’s stumbling around up there. It concerned me so much one day that I almost went up there to check on him. However, as a friend said “As long as you’re still hearing him stumble around, he’s probably still ok.” But when is too much stumbling too much? Ah well, at least he sleeps….
This brings us to down-dude. This brings us to the fact that I haven’t had decent sleep since I’ve been here (no one’s fault but me adjusting to new surroundings), I keep waking up around 6-7am…I have to be up by 8 to get to class every day of the week, so it isn’t *that* big of a deal for me to be up at 7-something, or even 6-something, but I usually just go back to sleep then. This weekend, however, I had plans. My plans for today involve not going anywhere. I may go for a bike ride later on or a run or walk or something, or hell I may head to the gym and do some circuit training, but I’m not getting in my car and leaving campus today. I”ll be here, working on all my homework. So, I was hoping to sleep in a bit, maybe until 930, or possibly 10a? You know, if my body let me…..My body wasn’t what I needed to worry about. I should have been worrying about down-dude and his insistence that tab A fit into slot C, AT.ALL.COSTS.BANGBANGBANGSHOVESHOVESLAMSLAMSLAM. I’m not sure if he was trying to close a door with the deadbolt expanded or not, but that is sure as fuck what it sounded like when it woke my bitchy ass from a dead sleep. For about 5 minutes the fucker banged around, seemingly slamming a door which had its deadbolt extended, trying to get it to close. Or maybe it was his bedroom window. Maybe he was sleep walking, maybe he’s really a tard and they didn’t notice when he registered, or they get extra money for tards, it is a public school after all. But for whatever reason that he’s here, and he was awake at 5:30am, he woke my ass up. I almost banged on my wall then yelled out “DIDJA KILL IT!!!!!???” But I was just too goddamn tired. Until it went on for a few more minutes, then I just wanted to go down there and knock on his door and be all “Dude, do you need help with something? Seriously, I don’t know what you’re doing, but it’s some godawful banging around and I’ll help you if it’s that goddamn important to you.” But my hair’s a mess and I don’t have a bra on, and I didn’t want to get dressed…fuck that noise.
Instead, I blogged…and while blogging, up-dude woke up, stumbled out of bed (literally, he startled me with his feet hitting the floor with a robust “thuddmmpthuddmm-thumd-thumbd-step-step), then there was a toilet flushing and he padded back to bed without incident.
I’m just going to say that my on-campus living arrangements are research for me as a mom…I’ll know how my boys are faring when they go away to school (unless they come here and I’m still here working on my degrees…then I’ll just have to tell them to go home, and buy their own groceries).
I think I’ll try to go back to bed and sleep in a bit this morning…then it’s all day schoolwork day…which actually sounds lovely to me.
21 May
School started. It’s awesome. Simply fucking awesome. My math professor is a typical math professor, in that he dresses haphazardly, needs a haircut, and is flying through college algebra like it’s first grade arithmetic….I’ll probably need some tutoring. Not because I suck in math, I’m rather good at understanding the logic of numbers, I can’t keep all the rules and regulations in order. Maybe I should just stop thinking so damn hard about it and just work the problems. That’s what I had to do with boxing…stop thinking about it, just *do* it.
I’m the only chick in two of my classes (minus the professors) (I have three classes), those two classes are computer science and software engineering classes. It’s kinda awesome to be the only girl…I can be mouthy and semi-aggressive and the boys just stare. I believe they are afraid of me in my ethics class…as they should be, that’s a debate class, I’m gonna eat those boys for lunch…it’s gonna be awesome :) Granted, the guys in that class are all typical ‘IT Guys’, in that they have their crackberries on their hips; like a modern-day gunslinger-wannabe, wearing their khaki pants and polo shirts, and boy howdy they know it *all* about IT. Except simple logic….I know this because I asked and they all stared at me like I was speaking Swahili. College is fucking awesome…why didn’t anyone tell me? Seriously, this is amazing…this is home.
My SWE class is User-Centered Design and the first thing we learned yesterday was the definition of HCI (Human-Computer Interaction). I was swooning 45 seconds into the class, and it just never let up. This is where I belong; Software Engineering is definitely where I need to be. I’ve also decided to go for a possible double major in Physics. Only because Physics is fucking awesome and neat and science. I like science, real science…sure, computer science is a real science, but I want some old-school science in my academic career, thank you. Not to mention how awesome would that be to say “Oh, yeah, I have an AAS, BSSWE, and BS in Physics, oh and I’m a certified Engineer.” Fuck you society, just fuck you….girl’s got brains….
THEN I can go do awesome, amazing things with my life…